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the elephant in the living room (ezra)

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Dim 13 Oct - 23:13
Another night, another day at work. Tonight Orion is working with his boss. The occasion is rare but it never really bothers him. He knows the other man used to be in his place for several years and Orion can understand that he wants to practice again from time to time. The parallel with his own life is not the funniest thing to do. Does he miss working in an open-space and spending his days negotiating bids ? Joker. Orion doesn’t have any issue affirming he likes his current job and doesn’t want to change it. The reasons and the way the transition between his old job and this one, well, they’re more complicated to talk about. Especially when the word regret has been banished from his vocabulary a long time ago. (not at fault from having way too many of them way too often, uh)

Working two and half years at the Outpost, Orion had seen about everything, especially in the field of clients who should have stopped drinking way earlier. Sometimes they remember where they leave, and then it’s easy to just put them in a cab. Other times they will even refuse to give out their name, and things get difficult. Obviously tonight they had to have to deal with the second case. A man, more or less a regular customer, in his thirties, glasses of whiskey who had been aligned until he reached the one who’d made him fall asleep on the counter top. With a dexterity and an agility coming all the way from experience, Orion had extirpated the phone of the guy from his jean pocket, unlocked the phone (thank you technology for Touch ID) and looked for his list of favourite contacts. When there wasn’t any he would go for the last registered number in the call list but tonight it would be some Ezra Jameson that would maybe have the chance to come pick the guy up.

Ezra answers the phone call. He seems a little embarrassed. Orion would rather be detached and everything but there is this little moment where he feels sorry for the guy. Not to bother him but that he has to live this. The phone call doesn’t last and Orion put the device on his pocket, in case Ezra call back for some reason. Then he’s at his John Doe of the night’s side, with his boss’s help they put him at one corner table, his head against the wall, a glass of water in front of him. The ideal would be to put him in the recovery position but they can’t exactly but him on the ground while he’s still breathing just fine. They decide to let him there, going back behind the bar and monitoring his status during the time it will take his friend or relative or whatever to get here.

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Lun 14 Oct - 11:54
Guilt. That is what runs through Ezra's veins. The clock is ticking and there are no signs of Peter. He should be worried, leave a hundred messages on his phone, just to check on him, determine how bad the situation is, or if he is even going to be able to make it back home, safe and sound, before the sun  rises. But something stronger than guilt stops him. It's self-preservation. Sitting on the couch, Ezra takes another crisp, enjoying every second of the quiet time he had not been granted until now. Does he hate him ? Sometimes he wonders. Home is quiet, ordered. Peter has been out most of the day. And it feels good. Too good actually.

And the phone rings at last. Unkown number on the line. The guilt stikes back as Ezra picks up the phone. Peter is alive,  did not crash the car into another person ending their life carelessly. The guilt is now gone but the weariness remains strong. Ezra is worn out but will do what needs to be done. So the teacher takes his coat and scarf in a routine that is way too familiar. He is going to collect him again, deal with that emptiness in his eyes that drives him crazy. The duty is his even if he can't actually cope with it anymore. Therapy helps a little with all this, but avoiding him works wonders as it seems.

Now facing the building, he takes a deep breath. He used to love that place. He remembers the music and the laughs, the casual drinks after work... Everything was fine back then. But Ezra does not meet with his friends anymore. The shame is psychologically too costly. He doesn't want them to know, even if they probably do. When he enters the room, he knows where to go. The bartender would know where Peter is. Obviously.

I'm Ezra. We talked on the phone. Thank you for calling.

The teacher looks at him expressioneless. He has never been so tired.

Where is he?

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Lun 14 Oct - 22:36
Orion doesn’t have to wait for too long before à man who appears to be his in thirties come to him for his man. “I'm Ezra. We talked on the phone. Thank you for calling.” Orion called someone who cares a minimum. He’s sure of it from the short amount of time it took Ezra to get here after they hung up alone but he can also see it in the guy’s face the moment he meets with him in the bar. To be fair, he might look more tired than worried but still. Orion has the time to answers a small “Sure,” before Ezra’s asking him about John Doe’s whereabouts and he answers him by turning his head in the guy’s direction, still in the corner of the bar, couple of feet away. He absent-mindedly lets his gaze wander between the two men, unsure of what to do. The expression, or lack thereof, on Ezra’s face is probably what prompts his next words. “He’s sleeping. We tried to get him to drink some water but it wasn’t a huge success. I can’t tell if he threw up or not, the floor and his shirt are clean but they’re not exactly perfect clues.” It might feel like he’s stalling the moment to let the thing be like he should do. A guy got too drunk to remember his home address, he called him a human taxi to take care of him, end of story. On a complicated and tiresome night, he sure as hell would have done so. But they’re close to the end of his shift and he has the minutes to spare to give the poor guy some more information. Orion still wants to assume he cares. He deserves that. “He was just drinking his whiskey one moment, I left him to take care of other clients and when I came back to him five minutes later he was dead as a weight on the countertop. He didn’t pick a fight with anyone so I’m pretty sure he’s not hurt or anything.” The Outpost is a quiet place most of the time but Orion has seen too many bar nights to not be glad none took place tonight.

Mechanically, Orion’s hands go for his jean pockets and when he finds one phone in each, his brows furrow for one instant and then he remembers he still has the stranger’s one. Picking it up, Orion hands it over to Ezra. “I’m glad you answered, next call was going to his mom.” He’s not sure this was an attempt at humor but Orion kind of want to take back the words the moment they’re out of his mouth. Come on Orion, time to stop.

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Dim 20 Oct - 17:14
Ezra listens although his mind wonders somwhere else. He doesn't really care if he puked or not as long as he doesn't have to clean it once again. He has done it many times, but what he wants right now is to get out of here as soon as possible. Shame feels like being scraped by thousand thorns and facing the man remains difficult for him. Sometimes it gets better. Sometimes it gets worse. Ezra is used to fear the worst with his husband. Peter keeps on promising he'll stop drinking, but empty promises is what Ezra gets with the man snorring on a table, looking almost dead.

I guess that's good news...

The teacher tries not to be icy cold but seems to fail miserably. He can't really blame the bartender for serving alcohol to an alcoholic. It's not like he really has a choice or a say. He's here to make money, his manager probably told him to shut the fuck up and give the celebrity what he's asking for. Blaming him wouldn't change anything. He's not the problem after all, Peter is.

She died a few weeks ago. She wouldn't have been of great help.

Ezra is tired and struggles to remain calm. Making a move forward Peter, Ezra takes a deep breath as he helps him standing up. Peter moves slightly, mumbling some words half conscious, half asleep.

Would you mind helping me getting him in the car?”  He asked the bartender, struggling with his unconscious husband bending dangerously towards the floor.

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Lun 21 Oct - 0:00
“I guess that's good news…” Orion bites his lower lip as he keeps going on basically about how they all got there. He’s not judging, per se (he used to be really bad at not doing it because everyone has an opinion on everything, right, and then he learned how people are different and sometimes they’re not lucky and sometimes they make bad decisions and yeah, thank you act up and the NA for perfecting his education), but he’s filing the reaction away. This isn’t his first rodeo. He’s had all sort of reactions when people came picking up their loved one in a bad state. Sometimes they laughed and joked about it, sometimes they cried, sometimes they yelled. Sometimes they stood there with a blank face, trying to get things done as fast as possible, almost clinically. That face told more things than any lack of reaction, it screamed routine, tiredness and weariness.

Orion regrets his words and Ezra’s answer comes to prove him right the next second. “She died a few weeks ago. She wouldn't have been of great help.” Well played, Orion. He manages to get an “I’m sorry” out of his mouth but he’s not sure the other man hears him or really cares as he turns towards the man he came for and tries to get him up. “Would you mind helping me getting him in the car?” Orion nods and he makes his way around the counter-top to join the other men, putting not-really-John-Doe-anymore’s other arm around his shoulders. That’s when his attention decides to catch on the golden band on the guy’s ring finger. Husbands, then. He could be married to someone else but the same element exists on Ezra’s left hand and given the situation, Orion thinks his odds to be right are pretty good.

Following Ezra’s lead out of the bar and off to his car, Orion assumes a better part of the weight while Ezra gets his key out and opens the door for the barman to drop his husband in the seat. Once the door close, they find each other face to face and Orion hesitates, his right hand going to his neck to rub it for a second. “I’m sorry, usually I try to catch them before it’s too late. You know, the client is king until he’s one drop away from having an ethylic coma in front of you.” It might looks like he’s trying to look good but that’s far from being his intention, no matter what some old acquaintances of him would say. You’re not an angel Orion, you have flaws and people are going to notice them, that’s how life works. To be fair, he’s not really sure why he added something instead of just saying his goodbye and get back in the bar. There’s something in Ezra’s eyes that makes his golden heart want to reach out.

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Ven 1 Nov - 15:08
Ezra knows he has been a bit cold to the bartender, so he now puts more efforts into seeming relatively calm and thankful. Ressentment would not help at all anyways. The points stands that he has to bring his husband home, and help is going to be something he will probably appreciate when he'll have to get him into the car. Peter is not being as difficult as he usually is, but letting him fall on the floor and make his head hit the ground wouldn't be the best idea. So Ezra nods and tries to put a thankful smile on his face for as long as he can maintain it. Once the drunk is safe and sound in the car, seatbelt fastened, the two men are now up for small talk.

- That's not your fault. He's a mess and a celebrity. Whatever you try to do to stop him isn't going to be enough.

Ezra knows what he's talking about. He has himself tried to stop him many times. He has collected empty promises through the years until the jar was full of those. A bartender wouldn't have avoided what is happening tonight. It would have happened somewhere else but it would have had happened anyways. At least Ezra knows where to find him.

- I have myself learnt the lesson.Thank you anyway. I'm sure this isn't a goodbye. We'll meet again.

And he sighs, opens the door of the car to join the drunk snorring next to him.

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Mer 20 Nov - 15:25
“That's not your fault. He's a mess and a celebrity. Whatever you try to do to stop him isn't going to be enough.” Right. Orion wants to call bullshit but he knows that Ezra is right and there is no point in fighting him over it. In the end, it’s stupid, really, the way Orion can’t step away the moment he’s no longer needed. It’s not even the worse state he’s seen someone in and why the hell would he have signed up to be a bartender if he couldn’t handle people drinking themselves stupid and people dealing with alcoholism, uh. “I have myself learnt the lesson.Thank you anyway. I'm sure this isn't a goodbye. We'll meet again.” There is this one moment of good surprise in Orion’s head because Ezra said they would see each other again and that means they could talk and he could help (hello fucking savior syndrom) and then his brain catch up, remember he hasn’t offered anything yet. They’ll see each other again because his husband will be back and yeah, not good.

He follows Ezra around the car, taking his chance and talking before the other man has the time to close the door. “Look, I’m sorry, I don’t want to overstep but…” His fingers go for his jacket’s interior packet, finding a card with his name, the AA’s location, website, and his number. He hands it out to Ezra. “If you ever need an outsider’s ear or advices or… Anything, really. Don’t hesitate.” Orion tries to add a smile to convey his idea but he’s perfectly aware that it wasn’t the strongest case he ever made. “Drive safe,” he completes. Because oddly enough, have a good night feels a little off for the situation.

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